This is a question that seems want of an answer for a long time. I have been perplexed by the trends I have seen surrounding the text of Proverbs 31:10-31; the Prov31 woman. And to my anxiety, I see much in the direction we take for this passage is exactly unbiblical. We seem to have, in today's culture, a misconception of the perfect, Biblical woman. I have often looked on happily married Christian couples and observed that the man of the house championed in his joy that he had the Proverbs 31 woman. Yet I had seen also his wife turn and say, "no, I am nothing of the sort." Perhaps this could be feigned as humility, yet she always seems to manage putting in that she is incapable of reaching the heights or achieving the perfect actions of the woman described in Scripture. In this view, however, we err.
We must first understand fundamentally that the Proverbs 31 woman is a passage that describes the ideal woman; the perfect wife. I would be a liar if I did not say that my heart longs for this woman. And yet we take it to mean that I am placing an impossible standard on the woman I will one day wed. This is not so, and yet it is exactly so. Let me explain.
In the first place, it is simply impossible for a woman to literally seek wool and flax, plant a vineyard, and makes linen garments and sells them. These things are not done quite exactly today. Indeed, I had once observed this fact and realized they couldn't accomplish all laid out in this passage. But rather than approaching the Word of God accurately, they added to Scripture by creating what they called the "Proverbs 32 woman". Scripture condemns this (Deut. 4:2, 12:32; Prov. 30:5-6; Rev. 22:18-19) and it doesn't solve the problem of having an impossibly high standard here in Scripture.
So how do I solve this impossible standard? I don't. I accept that this standard of vigilance, virtue, work, and wisdom is simply impossible if we seek it in our flesh. But this is our greatest failing! Both in women laying this on their daughters and men proclaiming this form of perfection. What do we say in solution? Strive in the Spirit of Christ to reach this goal. Perhaps one day you'll reach it. NEVER! I say! You will never reach this goal! Why!? Because your vision is fixed upon yourself and your transport is your works. You have created a works based righteousness that is destroying you. I cry to my sisters' in Christ to turn from this proud, self-righteous sin! What then!? What now? My dear sisters, turn your attention from yourselves and look ye to Christ. He is your only freedom.
Now what I am saying is not in contradiction to the passage in question. I'm not revealing new truth; rather, I'm expounding on what this passage already tells us. Namely, this passage opens with a question and ends with the answer:
An excellent wife who can find? ...Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (Prov. 31:10a & 30)Did you see that? The answer to how, or rather, who is the Proverbs 31 woman can be found in the passage itself; namely that she fears the Lord. This is all there is to it. If you fear the Lord, ladies, all this will be added through His sanctifying work (Rom. 8:29b; 2 Cor. 3:18). My dear sisters, your object and model should be to be more like Christ Jesus.
Now I've written quite a bit but I did just want to touch on this one last point so that we do not rashly throw out this chapter altogether. I feel it important to say that simple hermeneutics will clear up the confusion on the passage. We need only look to the historical audience and that can be found in Prov. 31:1, "The Words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him." This tells us that the original audience was King Lemuel himself, this is then enforced in v. 2 where a question is asked of "my son" and "son of my womb". It is followed up in v. 3 with a command, "do not give your strength to women". Finally it is pounded to conclusion with one last command in v. 31, "Give her (woman who fears the Lord [see v.30]) of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates." All this tells us that the historic audience was King Lemuel himself and young men. The passage is to help young men identify a woman of the Lord. That means that we can still practically apply this passage today. Men should use it as a template to see if one can see the fruits of the Holy Spirit working in the life of his sister-in-Christ; especially when considering a wife. Quite simply, if a woman is in Christ, she will exude this model in her every form and a man of Christ can see this. It should be an attractant. But ladies, you need not fret about whether or not you fit the model. If you love Christ and He is your Lord, then you do.
Soli Deo Gloria
